Puppet Masters: Ferris Bueller's Day Off vs Cruel Intentions

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off vs Cruel Intentions

I LOVE CRUEL INTENTIONS.

I had to get that out there first. I love it so much. This episode focuses on high school megalomaniacs who manipulate everyone around them: Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Kathryn Merteuil in Cruel Intentions.

I think Ferris is a full on monster, maybe related to my difficult negative emotions surrounding Matthew Broderick, and I think Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kathryn is one of the all time best characters committed to film.

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In Cold Blood: Zodiac vs Copycat

Zodiac vs Copycat

We are fascinated by serial killers, some to an unhealthy degree. Of course they’ve crept into our media, and so I’m pitting a crime drama about one of the most infamous serial killers of all time against an A+ thriller featuring a serial killer that mimics those who came before him. It’s Zodiac vs Copycat.

Zodiac features Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Dermot Mulroney, Chloe Sevigny, and about 100 other unnecessary people. Copycat stars Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, and also Dermot Mulroney, who in this movie puts a cheeseburger in his pocket in one of the kindest acts I’ve ever witnessed.

Family Matters: Mrs. Doubtfire vs Striptease

Mrs. Doubtfire vs Striptease

Two movies that are shockingly similar in their theme of parents willing to go to any lengths for their children are Mrs. Doubtfire and Striptease. Spoiler alert, I’m going to convince you that you’re better off watching Striptease with your kids than Mrs. Doubtfire because Striptease has better morals.

Tomb Raiders: Indiana Jones vs Lara Croft

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark vs Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

It's the showdown we've all been waiting for — two movies that feature people who should really wear gloves when they go to work and stop getting their finger oils on priceless artifacts aka Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark vs Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

Wack Pack: The Grand Budapest Hotel vs Butter

The Grand Budapest Hotel vs Butter

The Grand Budapest Hotel and Butter both feature a bunch of weirdos with passions they excel at and children that are not annoying, a real feat for any movie. The cast of characters in both films is extensive and impressive, leading to a real grab bag of humor, emotions, and insanity. 

 

Glow Up: Easy A vs The Princess Diaries

 Easy A vs The Princess Diaries

Easy A and The Princess Diaries are two coming-of-age movies about young women in high school who get makeovers, stop being invisible, and have to figure out who they really are.

Anne Hathaway is a comedic gift, Mandy Moore's Wild Hope is my favorite album of all time, and none of us appreciated the friendship of Heather Matarazzo as much as we should have. 

Make a Killing: Gone Girl vs Wild Things

 Gone Girl vs Wild Things

Here are two movies where women have complicated crime schemes and the viewer goes on a real crazy ride - it's Gone Girl vs Wild Things

In this episode, I also take a moment to give an impassioned defense of the erotic thriller genre as a whole. 

Spoilers ahead for both films, but honestly I could tell you every beat of Wild Things and you should still watch and enjoy it. 
 

Fear Factor: The Cabin in the Woods vs The Final Girls

 The Cabin in the Woods vs The Final Girls

The Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls are trailblazers in the world of horror, both very unique takes on the genre that play with scary movie tropes but have as many laughs as there are scares. I get way too earnest about my deep love and appreciation for The Final Girls and Malin Akerman. I swear it's a funny movie even though I talk about it with the gravitas usually reserved for movies like Schindler's List or Sophie's Choice. 

Girl Power: Bridesmaids vs Spice World

 Bridesmaids vs Spice World

If you asked anyone to name a comedy about a group of women, girl power, and friendship, 9 out of 10 times they would say Bridesmaids. As the tenth and most correct person, I would say Spice World

Who would win in a fight, Kristen Wiig + Maya Rudolph + Rose Byrne + Melissa McCarthy + Wendi McLendon-Covey + Ellie Kemper OR Posh Spice + Sporty Spice + Scary Spice + Baby Spice + Ginger Spice?