In honor of Halloween, I’m talking about two groups of PG Disney witches — it’s Hocus Pocus vs Halloweentown. I’m hoping all the Halloweentown fans come out of the woodwork to talk to me about Debbie Reynolds, Judith Hoag’s denim jacket, and why we can all still remember Sophie’s spell. I also defend Sarah Jessica Parker and explain why Vinessa Shaw is the best part of Hocus Pocus.
Enjoy my rageful comparison of 2 movies about aging country singers with substance abuse problems, the hot young star they take under their wing, and the price of fame — it’s A Star is Born vs Country Strong. Spoiler alert: I HATED A Star is Born. I love the legend known as Gwyneth Paltrow. I welcome arguments about my opinions, I’m ready and raring to go in defending my Bradley Cooper rage.
This week’s comparison features two movies that reflect on the state of society and free will - it’s A Clockwork Orange vs The Stepford Wives (2004). Stanley Kubrick’s 80 hour so-called masterpiece is a dark future world of ultraviolence, while The Stepford Wives is a hilarious satire that follows Nicole Kidman’s entry into an idyllic town straight out of Leave It To Beaver. These movies are shockingly similar in how they deal with conformity, control, and what it means to be a human.
Was Michael Douglas a sex symbol? Why was everyone in Fatal Attraction so into spaghetti? Why haven’t you all watched Obsessed?! Idris Elba is a hot rich guy who sends his wife, Beyoncé, flowers every week, while Ali Larter munches on strawberries and wears a trench coat. The choice between these two films is clear.
I LOVE CRUEL INTENTIONS.
I had to get that out there first. I love it so much. This episode focuses on high school megalomaniacs who manipulate everyone around them: Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Kathryn Merteuil in Cruel Intentions.
I think Ferris is a full on monster, maybe related to my difficult negative emotions surrounding Matthew Broderick, and I think Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kathryn is one of the all time best characters committed to film.
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We are fascinated by serial killers, some to an unhealthy degree. Of course they’ve crept into our media, and so I’m pitting a crime drama about one of the most infamous serial killers of all time against an A+ thriller featuring a serial killer that mimics those who came before him. It’s Zodiac vs Copycat.
Zodiac features Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Dermot Mulroney, Chloe Sevigny, and about 100 other unnecessary people. Copycat stars Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, and also Dermot Mulroney, who in this movie puts a cheeseburger in his pocket in one of the kindest acts I’ve ever witnessed.
Two movies that are shockingly similar in their theme of parents willing to go to any lengths for their children are Mrs. Doubtfire and Striptease. Spoiler alert, I’m going to convince you that you’re better off watching Striptease with your kids than Mrs. Doubtfire because Striptease has better morals.
Today we dig into one of the biggest disagreements among all humans: what do aliens look like?! Are they grey with big eyes? Are they super hotties? E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and Earth Girls Are Easy chose different portrayals for their central aliens, but both movies feature a human in need of a friend and an alien in need of a savior.