I'm sorry, nerds. The Dark Knight has the incredible Heath Ledger but Batman & Robin has literally everything else I could want in a movie: George Clooney's chin, bat nipples, and ice puns.
Sad White Ladies: The Hours vs The Private Lives of Pippa Lee
If you've ever wanted to hear about sad white ladies in muted tones, look no further. Learn why I think The Private Lives of Pippa Lee and Blake Lively's spun gold hair are more deserving of your eyeballs than The Hours.
Face the Music: Whiplash vs Crossroads
When the options are living legend Britney Spears in Crossroads or angry man with bloody hands in Whiplash, the choice is clear.
Mellow Journalism: Spotlight vs Never Been Kissed
Is pitting Spotlight against Never Been Kissed totally inappropriate? Maybe, but the mystery of where Leelee Sobieski has been hiding is more fascinating to me than 99% of Spotlight.
Wedding Bells: The Godfather vs My Best Friend's Wedding
The Godfather represents 175 minutes of life that Emily will never get back. My Best Friend's Wedding showcases the charm and giant hair of Julia Roberts in only 105 minutes. Empirically, My Best Friend's Wedding is the better movie.
Follow Your Dreams: La La Land vs Showgirls
In the first episode of Tasteless, Emily breaks down the types of terrible movies she loves and explains why Showgirls is a better film than La La Land.